The Rose Bell

I'm a witch practicing under a self-narrative derived from my astral experiences and kin. I focus on Shadow Work, divination, astral magix, and occasionally curses. I also suffer from depression.


Tarot Readings
they called her witch because she knew how to heal herself.
Here We Are, Reflections of A God Gone Mad (2nd edition)

(via queuemancy)

21 Tips to Keep Your Shit Together When You’re Depressed.

A while ago, I penned a fairly angry response to something circulating on the internet – the 21 Habits of Happy People. It pissed me off beyond belief, that there was an inference that if you weren’t Happy, you simply weren’t doing the right things.

I’ve had depression for as long as I can remember. It’s manifested in different ways. I did therapy. I did prozac. I did more therapy. My baseline is melancholic. I’d just made peace with it when I moved, unintentionally, to a place that had markedly less sunshine in the winter. I got seasonal depression. I got that under control. Then I got really, really sick. Turns out it’s a permanent, painful genetic disorder. My last pain-free day was four years ago.

So, this Cult of Happy article just set me off. Just… anger. Rage. Depression is serious – debilitating, often dangerous, and it’s got an enormous stigma. It leaves people to fend for themselves.

It’s bad enough without people ramming Happy Tips at you through facebook. There is no miracle behaviour change that will flip that switch for you. I know, I’ve tried.

A friend of mine suggested that I write something from my point of view because, surprisingly, I manage to give an outwards impression of having my shit together. I was shocked to hear this. And I find this comical, but I see her point. I’m functioning. I’ve adapted. I’m surprisingly okay. I think the medical term is “resilient”.

So, here it is.

My 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression

1) Know that you’re not alone. Know that we are a silent legion, who, every day face the solipsism and judgement of Happy People Who Think We Just Aren’t Trying. There are people who are depressed, people who have been depressed, and people who just haven’t been hit with it yet.

2) Understand that the Happy People are usually acting out of some genuine (albeit misguided) concern for you, that it’s coming from a good place, even if the advice feels like you’re being blamed for your disease. Telling you these things makes them feel better, even if it makes you feel like shit. (If they insist on keeping it up, see #12.)

3) Enlist the help of a professional. See your doctor. You need to talk about the ugly shit, and there are people paid to listen and help you find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel.

4) Understand that antidepressants will only do so much. They’re useful, they’ll level you out and give you the time you need to figure out your own path to getting well. They can be helpful. There are lots to choose from. They may not be for you, and even if they are, they take some time to kick in. Conversely, they may not be for you. Work with your doctor.

5) Pick up a paintbrush, a pencil, an activity you got joy from in the past and re-explore that. Or, sign up for the thing you always wanted to try. There is a long history and link between depression and creativity. It’s a bright light of this condition, so utilize it to your best advantage.

6) Eat nutritionally sound, regular small meals. If you’re having trouble eating, try to focus on what you’d like to eat. I went through a whole six week episode of tomatoes and cream cheese on a bagel twice a day. Not great, but it was something – helpful context, I’m a recovered anorexic. Conversely, if all you want to do is scarf down crap, try to off-ramp it by downing a V-8 and doing #9 for 15 minutes, and see how you feel. Chucking your blood sugar all over hell’s half acre is going to make you feel worse.

7) While you’re doing #3, get some bloodwork done. If you’re low on iron or vitamin D, or if your hormone levels are doing the Macarena… these can all contribute to zapping your energy or switching your mood to Bleak As Hell.

8) If you’re in bed and the “insomnia hamsters”, as I like to call them, are on the wheel of your head, watch Nightly Business News on PBS. This has the effect of Nyquil. Swap out your coffee for herbal tea. If you just cannot sleep, try the next tip….

9) Learn how to meditate. Start by focusing on your breathing. Not sleep, not thoughts. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Meditation is focusing on being present in your body, not careening around in your brain. It may not be as good as sleep but it will give you some rest and recharge you.

10) Face a window as often as you can – at work, at home. Look out into the world. Watch. Observe. Try to find something you find pretty or interesting to focus on. And, handily remember that one in five of those people out there feel the way you do.

11) Cry. Better out than in. Sometimes it’s not convenient or career-enhancing to cry, so find a private place as best you can and let the tears go. Carry Kleenex and face wipes and extra concealer if you wear makeup. You can always claim allergies.

12) Any “friend” who resolutely believes that your depression is because you’re lazy, because you’re not trying hard enough, who blames you for not bootstrapping out of it- that friend needs to be cut off. Polite (#2) is one thing, but there is a limit. You don’t have to explain, you can just not respond. You feel badly enough, you don’t need their “assistance”.

13) Limit your time with people who drain you. You know who they are. Often you don’t have a choice- but you can put the meter on. And, subsequently, be aware of what you’re asking of those close to you.

14) Everyone has shit they’ve got to deal with. What you have been saddled with is your shit. Recognize, just as you’re not alone, you’re also not unique. The grass may look greener, you may be jealous or envious of others who don’t have to deal with depression, but you likely do not know everything that’s going on with them.

15) Let go or be dragged. This is an old Buddhist saying. It’s a very useful way to frame aspects of depression. Betrayal, anger, fear… letting go is a process – often a painful and difficult process - but it’s ultimately going to show you the path out of this terrible place. Repeating the mantra can help when you’re feeling gripped by these feelings.

16) Wear clothes that make you feel confident. It takes as much time to put on nice clothes as it does to put on sweatpants. You will want to wear the sweatpants. Fight the urge. The whole “look good/feel better” campaign isn’t limited to cancer and chemotherapy. Or women.

17) Avoid fictional drama and tragedy like the plague. No Grey’s Anatomy, no to The Notebook, or anything that won a Pulitzer prize. You’ve got enough going on In Real Life. Comedy only. Or trashy stuff. Old episodes of WonderWoman? I’ve got the box set. Mindless drivel, like the latest CGI blockbuster. Or clever, funny books. David Sedaris. Jenny Lawson. Fiction exists to elicit emotion, and the emotion you need to express most right now is laughter.

18) Simple exercise, if you can. It can be something as simple as taking the stairs up a flight, or walking around the block. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, it doesn’t have to involve climbing a mountain or running a marathon. Baby steps.

19) Depression will lie to you. Depression will try to tell you what others are thinking. That you are unloved and unworthy, that others think little of you or don’t care – or even wish you harm. You are not a psychic. Keep repeating that. “I am not a psychic”. Repeat. The only way to know what another person is thinking is to up and ask them.

20) If you are well and truly losing this battle, reach out to someone. I’ve been the random friendly-but-not-close person who has fielded the occasional outreach. I like to think I’m not judgemental and generally resourceful, and others have thought the same, so they called and asked. You know someone like me. And they will help you.

21) Forgive yourself. I’m writing out all these tips, and I can’t always muster the strength to even stick my nose outside, or walk up the stairs, or eat my vegetables. Today, I got outside for ten minutes. I will try again tomorrow. And I will try again the day after that.


So. Random Dream last night involving therosebell and duskenpath.. Trying to teach me how to better astral, as well as help me search for a missing soul piece of mine that I keep looking for in dreams lately…

Also, Rosebell held my hand when we walked through my old high school to search there… and my bullies were there poking fun at me again, which makes me now kinda tear up T__T in a good way.

Dusken also mentioned that I have the cutest antlers (which is a reoccurring feature I have in dreams and on the astral), but that she should consider doing some reiki on me to get my crown chakra up to speed so they don’t make my head hurt when I utilize their energy for magicks and things. I didn’t even mention that, she just kinda spewed it out, but that is a real thing I have issues with.

It was nice to finally have a pleasant dream for the first time in an age. Lately all my dreams have been me searching through my childhood room for something, and for me it gets more and more unnerving because I don’t even know what I’m looking for….. Anyways. :3 I enjoyed spending my dreamscape with two of my favorite tumblrites.

Glad to hear it was a positive experience—also I used to escort* bullied kids around my high school in my jr and sr year—so it’s kind of cool that showed up in someone’s dream.

(*yes, I’m a 5 ft 2 stick but that meant I’ve always had to be good on the self defense skills and after years of being bullied myself and finally leveling with them some boundaries were established)

the part with wife and your antlers sounds really legit yo, def. makes sense/sounds like something she’d do/say. : )

  1. lunar-lavender said: Rooibos? Herbal? I’d say decaf but we already know that’s gross…
  2. beriani said: Herbal tea? :c

Not a huge fan of Rooibos : (  , I have some occasionally. I tend to drink a lot of herbals to begin with but the past few weeks they’ve been making my stomach worse (even my magical fennel isn’t working anymore :< ) I did find out though that some of the herbals I’ve been drinking were causing problems because they are in the same genetic family as some of the plants I have severe allergies to (like apparently I should never have chamomile and I didn’t realize that was in three of my tea mixes because I never drink straight chamomile).

My body just needs a good detox to heal of just straight water and clean foods. I was doing well for a bit (even managed to break 100 lbs for the first time in 2 years) and then something set off my stomach again and I lost all the weight—drinking tea when I’m underweight puts my metabolism on speed, and it’s already too fast.

I did however finally manage to get my surgery done in a few weeks, then I can finally go see a nutritionist and possibly get some blood work done at the doctors to figure out what’s going on. Best part is my insurance is covering more of the surgery than I anticipated so I won’t be as strained on the pocket when i see the nutritionist (since she’s out of network and out of state, but has helped two of my family friends that had severe health issues get back on their feet in a matter of months after they had played musical doctors for four years).

Woops sorry i unloaded health talk :<


beriani said: Cutting out tea? The horror! All joking aside, I do hope you feel better!

omg you have no idea it is legitimately a horror. I’m sitting here clawing at the walls like “what the hell will I do without tea”. 


I seriously freaking love this article

I was expecting to scroll down and see a lot of rageful, misogynistic comments but was delightfully surprised to see most people being respectful and agreeing (of course there’s a few sarcastic ones but compared to most responses on articles like these…there’s a marked improvement).

(via beriani)

>Wake up with chronic stomach problems again
>know i shouldn’t have tea but need a caffeine fix
>pray to golden wing to help heal
>go to sip tea
>tastes like poison and so vile I can’t finish it



That being said I’ve been meaning to cut out caffeine/tea for a full month but couldn’t commit to it. Guess I’m committing now.


It’s so damn hard to have a mental illness and a chronic illness. One day I can’t get out of bed because I’m too depressed and the next I can’t get out of bed because I’m in too much pain.

there it is.


(via dinosaurprincen)




demoonillu said: BEEN WANTING TO TRY THOSE, WHAT OTHER SCENTS HAVE YOU TRIED? (Regarding Morning Star incense)

Lotus, Patchouli, Jasmine, and now Fig. Lotus by far was my favorite, but they didn’t have it in the store that day. The scents are mild to moderate depending on the room size. If you have a small room I suggest not shutting the door or opening the window, especially with the patchouli ones.

Thank you, really appreciate the bit about the doors. I have a small room and a sensitive family/brother to fumes and scents. If you end up trying any of the wood once (cedar, etc) let me know, or any of the season ones (the autumn ones sound like they smell nice). : )

I LOVE morning star incense. My mother is SUPER sensitive to incense smoke, so I find that the morning star incense is a great choice that works for us both. She doesn’t mind it NEARLY as much as she does cone, resin, or traditional stick incense, all of which I burn as well. I’ve tried the Cedarwood, Fig, Lotus, Amber, Yuzu (i think thats right), Pine (I believe) and Gardenia. I think the Amber has been my favorite. It’s definitely more heavy than some of the other ones but I like that and think it is great for atmosphere and carries well. 

The cedarwood one is beautiful, though. I love cedarwood scents and think that the duration of the incense burning is perfect— about 30 minutes usually. It’s also not overwhelming like some cedar scents can be. It’s very sweet and comfortable, and goes really well with different incenses on top of it. I’ve burned it with frankincense before and thought it was really nice. 

The Fig and Lotus were great floral scents, and the Fig goes great in the summertime, especially when you do have windows open. The scent is lighter, but that’s okay because of the nature of the fragrance. 

I recommend their incense to EVERYBODY I talk to about incense. They are seriously my go-to because I haven’t had a single scent except for maybe the Pine that I didn’t burn relatively often. The pine just was too “car air freshener” smelling for me. I didn’t care for it, but it’s very strong so other people might. 

i freaked so hard when i saw this on my dash u dont even know this is like my fave

yay thank you for the extra review!  I will have to try them then as soon as the weather gets nice and I can open the windows (the air just gets too stale and icky in here when I burn incense in cold weather), glad to hear that it seems a lot of the scents turn out well (instead of only one or two being worthwhile). : D


Blooming in the cemetery

(via theblacklacedandy)


demoonillu said: BEEN WANTING TO TRY THOSE, WHAT OTHER SCENTS HAVE YOU TRIED? (Regarding Morning Star incense)

Lotus, Patchouli, Jasmine, and now Fig. Lotus by far was my favorite, but they didn’t have it in the store that day. The scents are mild to moderate depending on the room size. If you have a small room I suggest not shutting the door or opening the window, especially with the patchouli ones.

Thank you, really appreciate the bit about the doors. I have a small room and a sensitive family/brother to fumes and scents. If you end up trying any of the wood once (cedar, etc) let me know, or any of the season ones (the autumn ones sound like they smell nice). : )


I am kingofwands on there too

and I am lonely

son why didn’t you tell me you had account

Consider that you can see less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 km/sec across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not ‘you’. The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the belly of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical photoreceptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it. This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful colors you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum.

Here is Arrival of the Birds for reference.