andddd to top off this already hellish week i just slammed my hand into half inch thick solid steel and have a swollen fucking hand that i cant move. fuck this goddamn week.
I’m cheating on this weeks SPF: pic from last Friday—by the time I got a chance to take a pic today I was soaked from the rain and look like crap from the long week.
My dimples are coming back and it’s weird because…where did they go all this time? How they come back?
I don’t understand thing.
At least I look my age for once???
Just when it can’t get colder,
My mind turns to thoughts of you for comfort.
I dream in circles
of your frostbitten cheeks
and starlit hair
and quiet, quiet words
I dream of drawing constellations
between our myriad of thoughts,
and how your hand
fits perfectly in mine.
And just when the cold,
and the silence,
and the exhaustion,
and the loneliness cannot be worse —
imaginarymegalodon said: Stay strong. I believe in you. Drink lots of tea. -hug-
Thanks ;^; <3 lets have tea party yes
unfortunately no i can’t sleep when i get home though as I have to catch up on all the work I couldn’t do during the week x_x but yes, hopefully when it all ends I can collapse somewhere.
Thank you for your support (and tea. tea is important. tea is survival) !
I have to be up by 5 AM and I can’t fall asleep. I won’t get to go home until 12 hours after that. I am going to get less than 4 hours of sleep. This week has already been over 40+ hrs of work, and I still have freelance to do. I’ve gone through half a box of menthol toothpicks and a lot of cursing today. My hormones are not helping my aggression relapse. In the past two weeks I’ve experienced sexual harassment every. single. day. and that’s triggering some really nasty aggression from my years of being violated growing up. Which is teetering me dangerously close to the edge of relapse as well.
All I can do right now is just look at this like a test and say “bring it” because I do not want to relapse.
I do not
I will not fucking relapse. I will gnaw on toothpicks and scream at the walls, but I will not fucking relapse.
The game has changed now. I’m anchored seventy two layers deep in complexity and obligations, obstacles and limitations.
I cannot find you in a world I am not able to participate in. And with that, why would you care.
You’re given the gift of freedom, and a path twined with mine will only damn you down.
You tap my nose every time and remind me that all the pieces are made to fit together.
I once had the optimistic formula to feel certain that my life would change, the way of the world would be that of such things falling into place—but all I can feel is this deep seated anger and disappointment in my heart.
Because things are falling into place—for a perfectly created prison. A lifeline carefully crafted for the cause and it is fulfilling itself.How do you know me? God, this is so personal and we’ve never even met o.o Ahhhhhh what a small, small world it is. Thank goodness for like souls, lest we think we’re alone in this vastness. Edit: emphasis mine.
Small world indeed. The human/soul/spirit experience. This post was sort of an outpouring of things we all go through, just in varying circumstances—death, losing someone and not knowing what their future could have been, being frustrated by the limitations on your life, being scared of the future, being scared of being alone—and those conversations we have (or imagine having) with those who have left our life but wish we had a little more time with.
and yes, it’s always (or usually) a comforting realization that we don’t go through these things alone, even if they feel isolating.
Of course =)
From The Tea Rose
"He put a lot of stock in gut feelings; he always had. People said police officers— the good ones— had a sixth sense about things. As to who was telling the truth and who wasn’t. What a fugitive’s next move might be. Roddy’s sixth sense had never let him down."
"Care for it and it’ll grow, lass. So big, you can’t imagine." He waved at her, a bittersweet smile on his face, then walked away, fading into the gloom of the cemetery."
Thanks so much! :>
Anyone want to update me about this whole PaganBullshit Blog?
The blog is still password locked, so who knows.
Considering coffee/caffeine is a drug and various herbal drugs have been used in witchcraft and magix since forever, they need to step off before I passive aggressively send buttloads of coffee grinds to their front door.
"Fluttering spread thy purple pinions,
Gentle Cupid, o’er my heart;
I a slave in thy dominions;
Nature must give way to art.”
-Alexander Pope’s “Song by a Person of Quality”, 1733
An altar to Alexander Pope.